birthday

so im gonna be 17 soon...jan 3rd!....and i've put together a little list of what i want:

-mocassins!!!
-cardigans x100
-sum leather boots (brown, black,etc)
-headbands,rings,neckalaces
-ae super skinny jeans 2x
-mint green nail polish (i kno random lol)
-cartilage pierced ( my mom said yes!but she thought i forgot about it and she's a little iffy about going to a tattoo palor but she'll get over it :)
-baldwin hills to come back on BET
-a guy who can rock space jams nd not look like everybody else
-a new look...idk something with my hair im tired of it now...maybe ill put in sum braids...but im thinkimg of trying the hairstyle that i saw Sham from lateboots.blogspot.com rocking.
-10 pounds ( not english $$, as in i wanna gain this)

got alot on my mind

iight i dont feel like writing it all out right now but basically im feeling really.... like on the outside riite now. like my friend she came in ninth grade n people didnt really pay attention to her ...now 11th grade all the sudden its like she a celebrity among the boys...like we go to a party last sat. niggas is passin her around n askin for her numba and we're all like when did this happen? then today she basically deaded me to tlk to some guys again. and wat hurt me the most was that they all acted like i wasnt even there....wow just wow...like i dont understand....wut is it tht i did/do tht ...idk i juss dont even know what to say...

nd its not even like im not liked or something cuz when i got to parties with guys from other skools they tlk to me easy puttin their arm around me and not afraid to dancw with me....i think its juss the niggas at this skool...they juss wanna FUCK FUCK FUCK.... and my girl don't c tht....im starting to think tht tht's all they want from her..to c who's the first to bag her up n she doesn't see this like she's in denial when we tell her "_____ u turning into a lil ho" and at first we was joking but now its like true... now its like i dont even care about the guys in this skool cuz i c so much better when im not there....like dudes actually b coming up to u they not shy to talk to u...but in my skool? everyone's fuxked everyone else.... thats so dead to me...i dont care if im the only virgin next yr at prom either...ill wave my flag proudly...im not gonna whore around with these playas who say " on to the next one" when they done with u....nahhhh im to smart for tht